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Hamlet 2000

I like how when I post about having seen a film of Hamlet, I have to use at least five tags to cover all the categories that falls into. Ah, me. Anyway...

So those who have read my earler posts about Hamlets on film will know that I originally had... a slight aversion to this particular film, for a reason I'm not entirely sure of anymore. I eventually overcame that, but never really got around to watching it, because it's not on youtube and... I'm lazy. Anyway, some outstanding thoughts:

-Oh my god, Horatio is REALLY HOT. Like, dayum.

-Why does "Marcella" exist, again? IDGI. That is as bad as, if not worse than, giving Cassius a girlfriend. Cinna or Trebonia or... some shit. Which has actually happened. Twice, that I've read of. This is terrible. If you are going to transgender someone to make them someone else's girlfriend, at least do it right, okay? Everyone got that? Good. Now settle down, kids, and we'll all watch Fodor's Hamlet to drive the point home.

-Speaking of Horatio, where the hell is his accent from?

-SPEAKING OF Horatio's accent, I thought it was kind of cute that he was British (or... whatever he was), because I like the idea of Hamlet going over to Wittenberg in Europe, meeting Horatio there, and then Horatio coming back with him to America. Aww. <3

-Oh, Polonius family, why are you so awkward? Laertes/Ophelia virginity conversations and intimate hugs DO NOT WANT.

-Okay, the Ghost is just fantastically creepy. I would put him somewhere between Scott's ghost and... hmm... Tennant's, maybe? The handkerchief to his ear omfg

-Ewwww Polonius gets shot in the eye and his brains are on the floor. But wouldn't it be awesome if he was stabbed through the curtain in the eye? Like, it could be two curtains (as in a window), and he'd just get stabbed through the crack between them - of course he's looking through the crack - and then he comes out with the dagger sticking out of his eye. Y/Y? I think my morbid Hamlet ideas are totally excellent, no judging me.

-Also, at some point there needs to be a Hamlet who either stabs Claudius in the ear or pours the wine in his ear. Maybe he just wounds him a tiny bit with the sword, or doesn't even break the skin - just pokes him in the arm, or something - and then he pours the wine in his ear and it kills him like THAT. Because it was the same poison that he used on Hamlet Sr. Because I like the idea that Claudius uses the same poison for both... poisonings. Uncle Claudius' All-Purpose Poison! I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Why would the juice suddenly become a pearl, though? Maybe he boiled it down? I'm thinking about this too much.

-This song, apparently, was in the movie, and it's worth embedding here just because of the painting in the beginning of the video:



Look at Hamlet and his sexy lounging. Lol, oh Hamlet, u so ~saucy

-Aww, Hamlet/Guildenstern snuggling <3.

-Guys, Rosnguil are totes a gay couple, ok?

-Hamlet as Claudius' limo driver during the prayer scene. THAT IS SO BRILLIANT. It's a shame they took out now might I do it pat, but I can forgive them.

-The play within a play was pretty awesome. And lol, I love Hamlet putting himself as "Prince of Denmark" even though you can't be "prince" of a corporation. XD

-Where the hell did Laertes come from? He just sort of appears halfway through what seems to be the afterparty of Polonius' funeral. And his rebellion isn't "giantlike" at all, he's just pissed. I mean, they could at least have given him a couple of angry shareholders or something, amirite?

-HAMLET AND HORATIO ON A MOTORCYCLE. Awwwww <3.

-speaking of Hamlet/Horatio, I think I heard somewhere that this Hamlet was one of the slashier ones, which it basically wasn't. I think this pair were more bros than anything else.

-Hey, no fair, Laertes got a gun! Cheating!

-oh my god, GERTRUDE. She knew exactly what the fuck was up with that poison. She actually pushed Claudius + the cup aside to wipe Hamlet's brows.

-I should probably mention Julia Stiles somewhere here. Hi Julia. I don't like your character's taste in pants.

-I started crying a little when Horatio helped Hamlet up so he could shoot Claudius. That's a true friend right there.

-SO MUCH HAMLET/LAERTES SUBTEXT. At Ophelia's funeral, they fight a little bit and roll down a hill together, then Laertes straddles and starts strangling Hamlet (which probably signifies something sexual), before rolling off him, seemingly exhausted. Right. And then they're pretty much cuddling as they lie bleeding on the floor (hey, death=orgasm!).

-My icon is basically unrelated, I just like it a lot.

-THE HAT. whyyyyyy

-EDIT: Oh, snap! My icon IS related! YAY CLAUDIUS/HAMLET BOYKISSING!

-EDIT II: The date in my title is apparently 9 years late. *hangs head* I R GUD WIT NUMBERS. Well, it says 2000 now, anyway.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
casablancagirl
Sep. 12th, 2010 08:47 am (UTC)
THIS IS THE ONE WITH KYLE MACLACHAN AS CLAUDIUS, RIGHT? IN WHICH CASE - SEXIEST CLAUDIUS EVER. SERIOUSLY, I WATCHED IT WITH A FRIEND, AND SHE WAS SO ENAMOURED WITH CLAUDIUS SHE THOUGHT HAMLET WAS THE BAD GUY. <3
dontcrosscross
Sep. 13th, 2010 03:55 am (UTC)
I think I remember you telling me something to that effect, and yeah, it was. XD (After a while I just assumed you had meant sexiest Horatio ever, because DAYUM, and Claudii aren't really my thing.)

LOL, your friend. At least she was willing to watch it with you? (None of mine are.)
(Deleted comment)
dontcrosscross
Sep. 13th, 2010 05:55 am (UTC)
Ooh yeah, you told me about that class! It's... Branagh, Gibson, Hawke, and Olivier, right? Pfft, lame. Well... I haven't really reached a conclusion on Hawke yet. Also, Branagh yay! But that's just... meh. There doesn't feel like much variety. Not even the BBC 1980 version? Pfft. :|

(I think I asked you this before, but is this a Shakespeare-on-film class, a Hamlet class, a Hamlet-on-film class, or...?)

Yeah. I mean, I don't mind it, it's just a little awkward. Especially because it's a business, not just a modern royal family, so there's that extra layer of alienation. I've seen a trailer for an independent film Hamlet that takes out all aspects of state and makes it pure family drama, and the language seemed to work just fine -- then again, "family drama" is timeless whereas "corporation" or even "royalty" isn't.
tempestsarekind
Sep. 13th, 2010 01:51 am (UTC)
THE HAT. whyyyyyy

Heh. This is always my first reaction to this film, no matter how many times I've had to watch it.
dontcrosscross
Sep. 13th, 2010 06:03 am (UTC)
I actually have two similar hats, but at least THEY have the decency to have pom-poms on the end of their tassels.

Also, did they specifically instruct Hawke not to wash his hair for a month? Because that's what it looks like.
lucre_noin
Sep. 13th, 2010 05:53 pm (UTC)
Is this the one with David Tennant?
I even think I have it on the pc °_°! Laertes/Hamlet subtext? YUM!
dontcrosscross
Sep. 15th, 2010 01:37 am (UTC)
YAY AVPS ICON!

...Oh, snap. *looks at title* Did I really write 2009? I did, didn't I? XD What I, erm, MEANT to write was Hamlet 2000, the one with Ethan Hawke. HOWEVER, the 2009 one with David Tennant is at least twice as good as the 2000 version, and what it lacks in Hamlet/Laertes it makes up for in Hamlet/Horatio, so you should watch it immediately!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

other things of mine

Shakespeare Meme

Bold the ones you've seen stage productions of, italicize the ones you've seen movies of, underline the ones you've read or listened to, and add a star to any you've performed in, done readings of or otherwise theatrically participated.

All's Well That Ends Well
Antony and Cleopatra
As You Like It
The Comedy of Errors
Coriolanus
Cymbeline
Double Falsehood
Hamlet*
Henry IV, Part I
Henry IV, Part II
Henry V
Henry VI, Part I
Henry VI, Part II
Henry VI, Part III
Henry VIII
Julius Caesar*
King John
King Lear
Love's Labour's Lost
Macbeth*
Measure for Measure
The Merchant of Venice
The Merry Wives of Windsor
A Midsummer Night's Dream*
Much Ado about Nothing
Othello*
Pericles, Prince of Tyre
Richard II
Richard III
Romeo and Juliet
The Taming of the Shrew
The Tempest
Timon of Athens
Titus Andronicus*
Troilus and Cressida
Twelfth Night*
Two Gentlemen of Verona
Two Noble Kinsmen
The Winter's Tale*

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